Unknowingly, my husband had taken me back to a place that had left deep scars on my heart as a little child.
Fair grounds, flea markets, trade days were all places I had ventured as a child and they all had one thing in common : animal prisoners.
As a child these were not enjoyable places for me. The kittens and puppies reaching through the kennel asking for a hand...were not just asking for a hand, they were begging to be rescued from a life behind bars.
Freedom, that's all they longed for. Chains or bars? what's the difference?
I could hear their cries and feel their tears. I could not escape without begging to save them all.
But as a child, you have little influence. Your words go unheard and your parents make excuses.
But not this time. This time I was 25 + years older, nevertheless, I felt completely helpless.
My initial reaction always reverts to SELF. My mind buzzed with all the things I was going to say to the careless owners breeding my dear animal beings for a buck. Then I thought of buying all the puppies and kittens. But wait, what about the geese, ducks, chickens and goats? I couldn't save them all. Everywhere I turned I'd catch an eye - please help me, please pick me, please don't let me die here. I could feel my heart raging war in my chest, I felt panic welling up inside me. And that's when I decided to come clean. I decided my husband should know that he married a girl with an animal spirit.
He didn't seem surprised. He seemed more confused. He looked at me crossways when I explained that I could feel everything that "they" felt. That the pain was unbearable...
Do you want to leave? No, I want to stay.
I wanted to do something that I had never done before..I wanted to reverse the pain.
Pain can be overcome with love. Instead of forcing my negativity and hatred on such a people, I must, instead, love them....
This is not a love I have, this is only a love I can receive and therefore, freely give. Like a vessel receiving oil, I must let the Father's love pour into me and then out again.
I thought about Jesus walking through the market place, I thought about what he must have seen and felt and then I thought about what he did. He came to deliver. He came to deliver all humankind from the curse of the law, from the curse of sin and death. He is our example. He is our shepherd.
"In this is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because
as HE is, so are we in this world." 1 John 4:17
The spirit at this market was heavy with poverty. Poverty is under the curse. Poverty is the worst form of oppression.
Jesus came to deliver mankind from oppression. I recalled the only law given by Jesus.
'‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39
As I walked and prayed, I could feel the heaviness lifting, a change was manifesting. Physically, change could not be seen, but in the unseen much was being accomplished.
I was praying "God's will to be done on THIS earth as it is in heaven."
God's will is not for poverty stricken people to sell animals for money.
God's will is not suffering.
God's will is not oppression from lack.
God's will IS for heaven to come to earth. Heaven knows no sorrow or misery. Heaven knows no poverty or oppression.
Heaven is freedom from the chains of this earth. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding.
I am not speaking from hear-say, I'm speaking from experience.
As I assessed my situation, I could, indeed, see that I had changed. I was learning to let go of the ties that bound me to this world, the past, hurts and emotions that tied me to my animal friends. Emotions that, all to often, would cause me to look past or through the human and see only the 4legged being.
Now, I was allowing my heavenly Father to work through me, to love people through me; to use my mouth to speak blessings, not cursings; to use my body as a temple to pray for change; to use me to call heaven to earth.
"This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." Deut 30:19
A sigh of relief came over me, a wave of joy, rather. I was breaking ties with this earth, with this life. Then, just as we were about to exit, I noticed a tiny red and white speckled puppy lying flat on her belly with legs splayed, trying her best to survive the sweltering temperatures.
The two men saw my face and offered her to me. "Wanna puppy?" I looked again to make sure she was alive. "She's free."
Then every thought of her possible doom rushed through my head. I looked to my husband begging for his approval. "No" he replied, "We have too many right now."
Then I tried, I tried to be someone else, I tried not to care. I walked away, sick to my stomach, wondering if I'd sleep again...I would always wonder...did they throw her off a bridge? did they drop her on a dead end road? did they toss her from the moving window of the truck? did she get passed on as a bait dog?
"PLEASE!!! I begged...PLEASE!!!!!"
I rattled off all the above sequences, feeling as if I was going to vomit...I began searching everywhere for her but the men and the puppy were gone.
I lost my trust in the Father and His protection of these beings. I swept up in a rush, a rage again ever so easily with one half opened eye from the puppy.
"Ok, maybe you're right." My husband agreed.
Then I spotted them, climbing into the truck, in the bed was the pet carrier strapped to a pile of garbage. I knew it. I knew it. They were just going to toss her.
"WAIT!!! I screamed running after them. WAIT!!! I'll take her!!!"
To my surprise, the man reached in the cab, not the kennel and handed me a semi-conscious, dehydrated, weak little puppy.
I wasn't as strong as I thought I was or maybe, maybe I had done what I was sent there to do. Maybe my obedience and prayers had released ONE angel to me, one that needed me.
My heart burst with joy as her little eyes met mine.
I felt so relieved....I had tried my best.... deep down I thought, "one is better than none."
Khaleesi went on to get adopted by a close friend who had lost her dog just a few months prior in a struggle with a difficult illness.
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